Stepping Into Postmenopause

This month I officially entered postmenopause. But what does that even mean?  Many people aren't really sure.

Menopause is a single day—the final menstrual bleed—and is only diagnosable after one full year without a period. Everything that comes after that is postmenopause. And the years leading up to it? That’s perimenopause, a time of hormonal fluctuation where things can feel pretty topsy turvy.  

In Australia, menopause typically occurs around the age of 51 or 52. Perimenopause often begins in a woman's 40s and generally lasts between four and six years, though for some, it may be as short as a year or extend up to a decade.
(Source: Jean Hailes for Women's Health - https://www.jeanhailes.org.au/resources/perimenopause-fact-sheet)

I'm breathing a sigh of relief knowing that perimenopause is now behind me. It feels like a milestone. Some symptoms linger, but I sense a real shift, like the hardest part of this journey is done. The fog is clearing, the emotional rollercoaster has slowed, and I feel more capable again. More me.

That’s not to say the road here was easy. Looking back, one of the most unexpected challenges was anxiety.  My heart would race, my mind scatter, and my hands would even shake. It was as if I'd overdosed on caffeine but without drinking any coffee.  Many people who have experienced anxiety will know exactly what I mean.  Thankfully, this has now resolved. My perimenopausal symptoms seemed to peak last year and then gradually recede, like a tidal wave crashing onto the rocks and then subsiding. Phew!  And yihah! 

The burning anger that used to flare up during that time has also simmered. I now feel my anger as a signpost. It's usually my body talking to me about boundaries.  Like "Hello!  That's not okay!" My anger is less reactive and more informative.  It rarely spills over now like it did in perimenopause.

I've also noticed, more recently, that I care much less about what people think of me.  This is incredibly liberating! I feel more free to be myself. For most of my life, I tiptoed around people’s feelings, making sure I didn’t upset anyone. But let’s be real—that kind of people pleasing comes back to bite you. And now, I'm starting to live the wisdom of learning that lesson. Call me 'selfish' if you like.  Quite frankly, I don't give a damn!  It's one of the surprising gifts of menopause — learning to step into our power, unapologetically.

Perimenopause for me started at around age 46. I noticed my period becoming less regular. Just a little late at first—a few days, a week, a few weeks. Then maybe a month. Then I thought they had stopped altogether after nothing for three months, only to have them return unexpectedly. Some of my girlfriends had warned me this would happen. It's different, of course, for every woman.

While changes in menstrual cycles are often the first sign, perimenopause can also bring other symptoms, such as hot flushes, night sweats, sleep disturbances, mood changes, and brain fog. These hormonal shifts vary greatly between women.
(Source: Australian Menopause Society https://www.menopause.org.au/images/stories/infosheets/docs/AMS_What_is_menopause.pdf​)

My life changed a lot during perimenopause. I moved states twice–from Victoria to ACT and then finally NSW–moving house five times along the way. I started a new part time job.  My relationship ended, and I became a single mother. My daughter started school. I completed a business course and began building my yoga and wellness business in a brand new town.  

I recall when we first moved into the Mid North Coast region and I started a new part time job in a busy medical practice. After at least 10 years of working for myself, suddenly I was attempting to learn a lot of new things. This was where I really noticed the brain fog. It was off the charts. This fog was one of the hardest aspects of perimenopause. I’d often feel like I was wading through mud, trying to make my brain function.  I had to be shown how to do things again and again.  It was both frustrating and embarrassing. I was usually very capable but now I found myself pleading with my brain to work. While it’s not as intense as it was, this symptom hasn’t completely lifted. I still have to work harder to stay organised, and I’ve learned to tackle anything important in the morning when my brain is at its best.

A friend recently shared with me that when she started forgetting the names of everyday things—like washing line and couch—she didn't tell anyone for a year because she was worried it might be dementia! It’s so strange how something as common as menopause still feels like such a mystery. Even though we're talking about it more openly in the media, it’s surprising how many of us still don’t know what to expect.

Like me, many women have been caught off guard by perimenopause. I want to share my experience because I believe the more we talk about it, the more we can support each other through this huge transition. I feel like I've been bobbing up and down in the waves of perimenopause for so long, not really sure if there was dry land on the other side to clamber onto. But there was! And I did! The water is now starting to drip dry, and I'm beginning to make sense of the question "What the hell was that?”. I now feel that it's only right to put out a rope to other women still in that choppy sea. To say 'Hey, over here!' and to reassure them that it really does get better!  

Now, as I step into postmenopause, I’m diving deeper by studying Menopause Yoga and continuing to learn about this powerful transition. Let’s demystify it together. If you’ve experienced perimenopause or are navigating it now, I’d love to hear from you—please share your thoughts in the comments. And join me in future posts as we explore and learn together.