Perimenopause and the power of voice

Speaking Needs, Setting Boundaries and Being Heard.

Perimenopause can be a powerful catalyst for reclaiming your voice — not just in a metaphorical sense, but in a very real and embodied way. Hormonal shifts, life reflection, and years of accumulated experience often come together to highlight what we’re no longer willing to tolerate. Many of us begin to feel a stronger urge to speak up, to get clearer about our needs, and to let go of people-pleasing patterns that once felt necessary.

For me, perimenopause brought plenty of challenges. I can see now how I was calling in experiences to help me find my voice and reclaim my sovereignty. My body started speaking louder — especially when boundaries were crossed. I’d feel shaky, overheated, a tight knot in my stomach… sometimes even nauseous, with a deep urge to scream. I used to dismiss those feelings, thinking I was just being ‘too sensitive’, anxious or overtired. But eventually, I realised this was my body’s wisdom. It wasn’t whispering — it was shouting. It was telling me: enough!
So I listened.
And I spoke.

Jane Hardwicke Collings speaks about the veil that lifts in perimenopause. She calls oestrogen the “hormone of accommodation” — the one that helps us put others first, smoothing things over, staying agreeable. But as it fades, so does that veil. As she puts it, “...there can, for perhaps the first time in her life, be a reorientation to self.” 
(Source: https://janehardwickecollings.com/my-vision-for-menopause/)

That line really hit home for me. I'd spent so many years tuning in to what everyone else needed, always prioritising others over myself. But gradually, over time, it became harder to keep overriding my own needs. The old pattern of accommodating everyone around me started to crack — and it wasn’t something that happened overnight. It was a slow, often uncomfortable process of unlearning habits that had been ingrained for years. I still catch myself slipping back into those patterns at times, but now I’m more aware and less willing to dismiss myself. It’s a constant practice, not always easy, but definitely necessary.

In the chakra system, there’s a deep connection between the sacral chakra (Svadhisthana) and the throat chakra (Vishuddhi). The sacral is all about emotion, creativity, and sensuality — while the throat is where we give those things a voice. When these two centres are in harmony, we can express what we feel more clearly and honestly. During perimenopause, many women feel this link come alive again. It can feel raw, urgent, and powerful — like something inside has been waiting years, perhaps decades, to be spoken.
As progesterone levels drop during perimenopause, many women experience increased emotional sensitivity or anxiety. According to Sarah, The Perimenopause Naturopath, progesterone helps us stay calm and grounded, so when it decreases, we may feel more overwhelmed and reactive. This hormonal shift can also bring up long-buried emotions, making it harder to establish clear boundaries and stand firm in our needs.
Sarah, the Perimenopause Naturopath

Patterns That Often Emerge:

• Saying “no” more — or wanting to, but finding it hard.
• Feeling irritated or rageful when someone crosses your boundary.
• Getting emotional when you’re not heard or acknowledged.
• Craving more quiet, space, or time alone to reflect.

The Messy Middle
Taking up space can feel unfamiliar at first. Many of us have been taught — subtly or directly — that it’s more ‘acceptable’ to be accommodating and agreeable. So when we start showing up differently, it can bring discomfort, even guilt. We might worry we’re being “too much” or “not nice.” But this is where relationships start to shift. Because we’re not just reacting — we’re rooting into our truth. And that changes things.

Setting Boundaries with Clarity and Care
Therapist and boundary expert Terri Cole reminds us that healthy boundaries are not walls to shut others out — they’re bridges to more honest, respectful connection. She encourages women to tune into the “boundary blueprint” they inherited from family, culture, or early relationships — and to update it when it no longer serves. A helpful phrase she offers is: “That doesn’t work for me.” Simple, clear, and powerful. When you start small — and practice saying what does or doesn’t work for you — your nervous system begins to feel safer in your own self-expression.
Terri Cole

Practices to Support Your Voice:

• Journaling or talking out loud (to yourself or someone safe).
• Breath and sound practices from yoga — like humming bee breath, roaring lion, mantra chanting or kirtan.
• Writing scripts or simple sentence starters for setting boundaries.

Your Voice Is Sacred
Learning to speak your truth — to stand in your own power — isn’t about losing control. It’s about coming home. Yes, it might feel chaotic at times. The hormones, the emotions, the shifts in relationships... it can be a lot.
But if we let ourselves see this as a rite of passage, it becomes a sacred homecoming.
A return to your deepest self.

Closing Reflection
If you’re in this phase and feeling a bit unsure or lost, take a few moments with your journal.
Ask yourself:

What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
What truth have I been whispering that wants to be spoken out loud?

Let your pen say what your body already knows.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with finding your voice during perimenopause. How have you navigated the shift in setting boundaries and speaking your truth? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to me directly — let's support each other in this journey.